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Preparing for Your First Anal Experience

Preparing for Your First Anal Experience

6 min reading time

  • Decide which type of anal play interests you
  • Discuss everything with your partner
  • Maintain hygiene
  • Relax your mind and body
  • Don't rush - start slowly
  • Heat things up with toys or lubricant
  • Use condoms
  • Don’t skimp on lubricant

If you're interested in anal sex, you're certainly not alone. More than 1 out of 3 women aged 19 to 44 have tried anal sex at least once, according to survey results published in the "Journal of Sexual Medicine." It's not surprising - the anal area has many nerve endings that can be stimulated. For some people, anal sex is even more pleasurable than other types of sex. Here are 8 tips on how to prepare for anal sex, especially if it's your first time.


Decide which type of anal play interests you Anal sex usually means penetrative sex, i.e., penetration into the anus. However, the variety of anal pleasures is quite broad. Knowing what interests you in advance can help you prepare accordingly. You should be aware of these types of anal sex:

Penetration with a penis: what many people first think of when talking about anal sex.

Penetration with a toy: there's a large variety of anal sex toys. There are anal vibrators that can be used for penetration similar to a penis, but your options don't end there. There are also plugs, which are smaller and meant to be left in place. Using anal beads, pleasure is experienced both when inserting and removing them. Prostate toys are uniquely shaped devices designed for prostate massage – akin to an anal G-spot vibrator.

• Penetration with fingers: a great way to explore anal play, especially for beginners. If you're planning to explore penetration with a penis or toy, it's likely that some finger penetration will be involved beforehand. Always make sure that your hand hygiene and nails are appropriate – clean, smooth, free of rough edges, and fairly short.

• Stimulation with the mouth: this is oral sex on the anus, known as anilingus.

Discuss everything with your partner It's essential to discuss everything with your partner before trying anal sex. Consent is paramount in all erotic games. You should never surprise your partner with a new sexual act.

Discuss and establish your comfort level together. Take gradual steps. To respect both parties and experience as much pleasure as possible, make sure you don't pressure yourself or your partner into something they're not ready for. Gradually, knowing what to expect and feeling prepared, both of you can experience more comfort and satisfaction. Only then will anal orgasm await you.

How to prepare for anal sex

  • Maintain hygiene Many people worry about the potential mess associated with anal sex. It's advisable to wash up before play, but remember that anal sex will likely involve some fecal element. The more comfortable you become with this thought, the less shocked you'll be if it happens. Expressing these concerns to your partner (perhaps you can even laugh about it together) will help dispel the shame some people feel about messiness and anal sex.

An enema is not necessary, but if you decide to try it, perform the procedure 1-2 hours before anal play. While usually safe, it's best to do this moderately. Doing it too often can disrupt electrolyte balance, cause bloating, or even diarrhea.

Also, consider keeping a towel handy. If a mess occurs during sex, and it can be particularly dirty with anal play, having a towel nearby will allow for quick and easy cleanup.

  •  Relax your mind and body The last thing you want during anal sex is tension. If you're trying anal play for the first time, take some time to relax – take a hot bath, ask your partner for a sensual massage, or even meditate.

To prepare for anal sex, you can also focus on relaxing the anal sphincter muscles. To know what this feels like, tense your buttocks muscles – as if doing a Kegel exercise for the other end – and then release.

  • Don't rush - start slowly If anal sex is new to you, start with small steps to more easily engage in the act. For example, a butt plug can help you transition to a penis and reduce the risk of tearing. If you penetrate too aggressively, you can tear your partner's anal sphincter muscles.

Fingers and anal beads are also reliable ways to start anal play. You might also try an anal training kit. Start with the smallest toy and only move to the next size when its use becomes effortless.

First anal

Heat things up with toys or lubricant Warming lubricant increases pleasure and adds more comfort. Heat promotes blood flow to the area and stimulates the nerves in the rectum and anus.

Also, consider trying a warming sex toy that heats up to a temperature slightly higher than your body temperature. Like lubricant, it helps relax the muscles and get the blood flowing for what lies ahead.

Use Condoms

Condoms will protect you and your partner during anal sex. You can use an external condom (also known as male) or an internal condom (also known as female), which is inserted into the anus before intercourse. Some people feel safer using extra-thick condoms for anal sex.

Although pregnancy is not possible, the risk of sexually transmitted infections increases. Small tears in and around the anus increase the risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections and bacteria, including:

• chlamydia

• gonorrhea


• human papillomavirus (HPV)

• hepatitis A, B, and C

• parasites, such as Giardia

• intestinal amoebas

You should also put condoms on all sex toys used. Remember to change condoms between partners or types of stimulation. During oral-anal sex, a plastic or latex barrier placed over the anus can protect you.

Anal orgasm

Don't Skimp on Lubricant Unlike the vagina, the anus does not self-lubricate in preparation for sex. Lubricant is a safe and enjoyable necessity for playing anal games. It facilitates penetration and reduces the risk of skin tearing, which in turn decreases the risk of infection.

When choosing a product for anal sex, a thicker consistency silicone-based lubricant is preferred. However, water-based lubricants or a mix of both are also suitable. Both these products are safe to use with condoms. Oil-based lubricants, while great for anal sex, are not suitable for use with condoms.

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